Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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