So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
