i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
