Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
