I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
