Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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