I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
