I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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