i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
