Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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