u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
