And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
