TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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