Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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