how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
