I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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