did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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