I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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