K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's even glitter on my cock...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
