his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
