How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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