did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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