Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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