Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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