is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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