One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
