1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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