I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
