Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
