you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
