it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Randomize
