He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
