dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The air was thick with penises
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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