Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
