We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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