He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
