I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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