Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize