woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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