I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
