i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
