Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize