this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
