On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
