I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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