Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize