Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
