I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
