Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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