The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize