Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Two words: blizzard sex
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
