You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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