apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize