I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
