One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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