The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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