you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
