I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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