"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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