ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
