she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
