I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.