I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time