If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
