You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
