eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize