Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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