next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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