i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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