ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
