Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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