this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
